Family Trip

Derek and I took our first vacation (post-honeymoon, of course) as husband and wife.  We flew out to Illinois to visit his family.  I had pushed for this trip because there was a significant number of relatives, including Derek's grandparents (94 and 95 years old) who were not able to make the trip for our wedding.  It was very important to me that we take a trip out, and I'm so glad we did. 

I do have to say that the whole trip was a bit nerve-wracking to think about.  What started as a small trip so that I could meet his grandparents turned into a family reunion weekend, with lots and lots of new people to meet.  George, Derek's grandfather had recently been having some health issues, and was in a nursing home when we arrived, and so we stopped at the bursing home frequently throughout the weekend to visit with him.  Dorothy, Derek's grandmother, was still at home. 

First, I'll begin with some highlights of the trip.  Friday, when we arrived, Derek's mother was there to greet us, and take us over to the nursing home where we met up with Dorothy and George.  I didn't really know what to expect, not having had much contact with people as advanced in age, and was pleasantly surprised at how "with it" they were.  My favorite moment of Friday was being presented with an exquisite hand-made jewelry box as a birthday/welcome to the family gift.  I admit, I did tear up.  It was very touching that George would give me something so dear and special to him.  We stayed at the nursing home for a bit, then went home for some food and much needed sleep. 

Saturday, Derek's mother's side of the family (These were her parents we were visiting) all came over to the house for a bit of a family reunion.  It was nice to meet them all, and apparently, I only missed out on meeting two of Derek's cousins.  They were all very nice people, and I had a good time getting to know them all.  Brian and Paula, Derek's aunts, are not in the picture below, but they were at the gathering as well.  As you may be able to tell, Michelle and her husband Chris are expecting to grow the family at the end of the summer. 

Sunday, Derek and I had gotten up, and Dorothy was looking at the paper.  We were chatting about some of the different stores in the area, when she let us know about this one grocery store chain that gives discounts every Tuesday.  She then proceeded to inform us that sometimes she doesn't bother going on Tuesday because of all the old people in the store, and how some couples take up the whole aisle, looking at every label and the aggrivation is not worth the discount.  She's 95, as I said previously.  That may have been one of my favorite moments of the entire trip.  Granted, she is much more together than I would have imagined.  She still drives well, and she can get around, and her mind is still sharp as a tack.  George is having more trouble in the moving around department (though therapy is doing wonders in the nursing home) but he too is very sharp. 

After breakfast and our daily stop at the nursing home to chat with George for a bit, we took off to Starved Rock, a state park that was amazing, where we met up with Derek's father's side of the family.  In driving out to the park, it became very apparent that there isn't much in Illinois but corn and sporadic farm houses.  Living in such a congested part of the counrty me entire life, it's funny to see the cities all clumped together, with nothing inbetween.  And the flatness!  Quite different from what I'm used to.  In any case, the park was amazing, and Derek's family was again very welcoming.  His cousins Dana and Holly have the cutest kids, and there were definitely some "kids say the darndest things" moments, such as when one of the little ones (either Ava or Courtney) complained that she souldn't walk anymore because "my shoes are tired" or when one of the older ones (Katie, I think) kissed her biceps in response to Derek commenting about how strong she is.  There's a "photobomber" in the picture below on the left behind our group.  Multiple pictures were taken of the group, and she stood, quite purposefully in the back in all of them. 

All in all, it was nice to get out and exercise some, as we had been eating horribly all weekend, and meet new people.  On the way home, we stopped at a Steak and Shake, which is apparently a big thing out there.  It's a neat little place, a burger and dogs 50's style joint with milkshakes, of course. 

Monday, Derek and I left early, stopped by the nursing home one last time, and then headed to Chicago, where we were disappointed to learn that the Sears Tower was renamed the Willis Tower in '09.  Really, the rest of the little exploration of Chicago was pretty good.  It's so funny how the little changes can irritate us so much sometimes.  If I were to be more dramatic, I could even go so far as to say that it invalidates our childhood to change things like that.  Dont's even get me started on the "planet" Pluto. 

Silly rants aside, Derek and I had fun looking down on the city from 103 stories up.  They have these little glass cutouts in the side of the building where glass cubes suspend people out over the city, and I enjoyed them.  It was a bit scary walking out on what they affectionately call "the ledge," and poor Derek was more than a bit freaked out by it, but we did get some cool pictures of us appearing to stand on nothing (or at least they would have been cool had the glare off the glass not been so obvious). 


The picture to the left is one I pulled off the internet, showing these little glass people aquariums stuck to the side of the building.  You can see a bit better how the "Ledge" is formed.  It looks a lot freakier when you're standing in front of it, about to walk off the edge of the actual carpeted floor. 

Now that I've shared some highlights, I want to share a short story.  It's about a man who was separated from his wife of 70 years due to unfortunate circumstances, for the first time in a very long time.  And it's about the woman, who for the first time in a very long time didn't have her life-long partner at home with her.  The man was so eager to get back home to his wife (who visited him several times a day, but it wasn't the same) that he was able to put aside his stubbornnes, and his opinionated ways and realize the importance of listening to his therapists and nursing home staff because he feared that if he didn't he would not be able to go home to his loving wife.  When Derek and I were sitting in the room listening to George speak of how much he missed Dorothy, it brought tears to my eyes.  And all I can hope is that Derek and I are still so deeply in love in our 90's as these two obviously are.  I'm glad I was able to meet them this weekend, and they have proven to be quite the role models for me. 

The BED!

Derek and I have been talking about a king size bed since we moved in together.  It stems from the fact that I am a horribly light sleeper, and he is a horribly active sleeper, and the two don't mix well.  We had a queen size, but it was tall, and soft, and the entire thing wiggled anytime either of us moved, and it was very difficult to sleep.  An amazing bed for a solo sleeper, though. Like sleeping on a cloud.  Any overnight guests we have now are in luck. 

So the funny story about Derek and myself and the bed situation is this: even though we lived in the same apartment since last June, we had separate bedrooms until the wedding.  We would joke about being "Good Catholics" (he's not even Catholic) but the reason stemmed down to the fact that if we went to bed in the same room, I would end up on the couch or in the other bedroom.  Even before we lived together, most nights I spent in Providence found me on the couch. 

So here we are, married now, and I refused to be that couple.  I know that a lot of married couples make the choice to sleep in separate beds, but as newlyweds?  It wouldn't have been right.  It was tempting, as the sleeping part would have been great,... but no.  It wasn't an option.  Hence the desire to get a king size bed.  One that wouldn't move as much, and would give us both plenty of room. (I tend to sleep on the edge of the mattress, but Derek really likes the middle.) 

So, after two months of marriage and subsequent sleep issues, we finally have our king size bed.  I set it up yesterday.  On a side note, sometimes I irritate myself with my stubbornness.  For some reason that i still don't know, I couldn't wait for Derek and ended up moving our queen to the spare room and setting up the king all by myself, for no good reason at all.  And I'm a bit sore, to be honest. But, it's set up!  And I love it.  If anyone who reads this got us Bed Bath & Beyond gift cards, thanks so much for the new bedding for our new bed, by the way.  So now, I'm going to go to bed.  In the new bed.  Where there's plenty of room for me, Derek, and Mischa (but not Roxie, because Mischa has claimed it and won't let Roxie near it) and I can't feel Derek moving, and the memory foam feels fantastic. 

Good night.  :)

BRUINS!

Today this post isn't about us.  It's about history.  For once, Derek and I were rooting for the same team last night (It's VERY odd to hear my husband rooting for a Boston team). 

The last time the Bruins brought home the Stanley cup was after the 1971-1972 season.  They are also the first team in franchise history to win three game 7s in one post-season.  Now, this new millenium has seen all four major sports teams in Boston bring home the victory.  What an amazing time to be a Boston fan. 

Congratulations to the Boston Bruins.

Learning How to be Married

Before I begin, I want to say that what my ramblings will bring in this blog relate only to the relationship between Derek and me, and in no way reflect other relationships or situations.  I know that ours is a situation much different than others, one where we did not have children before marriage, nor did we date for an extended amount of time.  This is an honest reflection on my thoughts and feelings.  Please accept it as such. 

So, it turns out that, even though we lived together before marriage, after our wedding, things are a bit different in many little ways.  Wonderful, but different.  Derek and I have been learning a lot about being married over the past couple months (two on Thursday, to be exact), but we're loving every little lesson.  Things are taken more seriously now that we've committed ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives.  I guess it's difficult to explain why there would even be a difference in many ways, especially once a couple is engaged, seeing as how you're promising to marry each other, but it is.  

First, there's a comfort that wasn't there, at least not to the same extent before.  Maybe its the fact that the stress of planning the wedding is over and you can actually just enjoy each others' company, or the fact that even if you had that nervous energy before the wedding (it turns out that I have much more self-doubt than I should and would question the silliest things), now, you know that you're going to go home, and the other person will be there, and you can talk if you need to, cuddle if you want to, and just sit and enjoy togetherness.  This is a wonderful benefit of being married, especially if you know you married your perfect partner.  We are learning never to take this for granted. 

Our second lesson comes in communication.  We both know how important it is, but sometimes it's really easy to not say something we're thinking or feeling because we don't want to "start anything." Or we don't want to "make a big deal" out of something small.  Truth is, it's often easier not to say something.  But we haven't fallen into that trap.  Not yet, at least.  It's something to practice.  For the first time in our lives, someone else's thoughts and feelings are tied securely to our own in away that dating didn't cause to the same extent.  I mean sure, we wanted each other to be happy before, and we wanted to see each other smile.  But now, it's much more magnified.  Standing up in front of our family and friends made it hit home what we were doing, how big a commitment we were making.  With such an important step we took together, we always want to be able to be as happy as we are now, and we know that open communication will play a big role in that. 

Our third major lesson is based on human nature's way of painting a picture of the unknown, which for us was married life.  We both had a certain image of what it would be like after we were married, and I'll admit my image consisted of dinners together very night, lots of romance, and other images that television tells little girls what marriage is.  Don't get me wrong.  Marriage has exceeded my expectation in many ways.  I had no idea that I could be so happy knowing that someone cares about me as much as Derek cares, and I love him more than I thought I would ever be able to love another person.  So the lesson is that sometimes things don't happen as imagined, but if you're so concentrated on what's different, you may not realize that things are even better than you could ever have imagined. 

Welcome

Hello, everyone. I have been motivated by those around me beginning blogs, and have decided to start one in order to share with our friends and family the wonderful life that Derek and I are beginning.  We have been happily married for nearly two months now, and are enjoying our time together as husband and wife. 

For those who don't know, Derek and I were brought together under circumstances that could easily have not happened.  We feel as though fate, or some higher power, had a hand in bringing us together at exactly the right time.  We met like more and more couples are meeting lately, through an online site.  The thing is, Derek only signed up because he was not feeling well that day, and happened to see an ad.  I had signed up only out of frustration, as a roommate and I had a horrible, awkward existence and I was hoping that if I began dating, things would be better for me.    The funny thing is I didn't expect to actually meet someone worth dating from this site, and didn't think Derek and I would work, due to living in different states.  But we met one Saturday evening, January 31, 2009, to be exact, and the connection was instant. 

I won't bore people with details, but after a little over a year, Derek proposed to me in the very same restaurant in which we had our first date.  A bit over a year after that, we were married, and that brings us to present day. 

The purpose of this blog is twofold.  First, I wanted those family and friends who are interested in keeping up with our lives to be able to do so.  Second, I wanted to be able to have a written history of our early marriage to look back on with fond memories.  So to those who read this, I hope you enjoy.